I must admit to feeling somewhat disappointed at your design bible. The central character, although quirky, hasn’t really developed past your initial sketches, and a huge part of this project is that development process. Your environment certainly has atmosphere but we see very little evidence of the Goblins tower from the title. Since the character is described as blending in with his surroundings, the audience need to see that (a crouching Splinterskin merging with a thorny briar or tree stump etc. The storyboard also is hard to read and would have been better split into a series of shots for clarity.
Despite all of this, I think you have the capacity to make this project shine but it needs a lot more development. I would start with the narrative, imagining what this strange creature is doing. Who and what is the the Goblin King and the other-worldly creatures? What or who will best Splinterskin and make him angry? Who is Splinterskin going to menace? Then define the environment and additional characters with this in mind. The phrase "Show, don't Tell” is very pertinent for your project as it stands, but you should strive to change that. - JW
Character Design Feedback
ReplyDeleteI must admit to feeling somewhat disappointed at your design bible. The central character, although quirky, hasn’t really developed past your initial sketches, and a huge part of this project is that development process. Your environment certainly has atmosphere but we see very little evidence of the Goblins tower from the title. Since the character is described as blending in with his surroundings, the audience need to see that (a crouching Splinterskin merging with a thorny briar or tree stump etc. The storyboard also is hard to read and would have been better split into a series of shots for clarity.
Despite all of this, I think you have the capacity to make this project shine but it needs a lot more development. I would start with the narrative, imagining what this strange creature is doing. Who and what is the the Goblin King and the other-worldly creatures? What or who will best Splinterskin and make him angry? Who is Splinterskin going to menace? Then define the environment and additional characters with this in mind. The phrase "Show, don't Tell” is very pertinent for your project as it stands, but you should strive to change that. - JW